(Long Read!) Is there something I can manage to do in this situation that would end relatively positively?
A quick background.
My 25 year old sis, Dee, is a "not-quite-reformed" drug addict who is living in an apartment paid for completely by my stepdad, she gets foodstamps and has government-provided healthcare. She is currently married, neither she or her husband work. Her husband has been unemployed for five months, doesn't have a high school diploma or a GED and refuses to get the latter. Dee has a total of five children. Her first two children are autistic and live with her ex-husband, as she abandoned them when they were about 3 and 2 years old. Her youngest three children (two 2 year old twin girls and a boy that's not even 1 yet) are living with her. She has abused me physically, emotionally, and sexually when I was growing up, so I harbor a lot of anger towards her.
My stepfather, Tom, is... crazy. There's really no other way to put it. He has sexually harassed me when I was growing up, hit me, emotionally abused me, threatened to throw me out on numerous occasions both when young and even now that I'm 20.
I am enrolled for college currently, though Tom is the one who put it on his charge card so I could pay him back for it with the 00 I have in my bank account. I am a 20 year old female who has been put into the mental hospital on two occasions of her own accord, because I could not take the stress provided to me by my stepfather Tom and my sister Dee. I am the proud caretaker, though not owner, of a 1 year old black & tan American Cocker Spaniel named Dakota who has anxiety (she hides from loud noises and other people and pees when frightened). Tom is her legal owner.
I do not have a job, because nobody in my neighborhood is hiring. On top of that, I am extremely discouraged to get a job by Tom, who insists I should focus on school instead and that without an Associate's Degree I won't be able to get a job no matter what I do or what skills I may have. I also do not have a therapist/psychotherapy/psychologist/psychiatrist because the nearest one is in the city, and I do not have a driver's license. I have been diagnosed with multiple things, among them General Anxiety and Schizoaffective Disorder (w/ bipolar).
Recently, my sister discovered that she, her husband, and her three children are being evicted from their apartment due to their subhuman living standards, such as a dirty floor with food glued to the carpets that she lets the kids eat off of, furniture with food glued to it that she lets the kids eat off of, clogged toilet in the bathroom, feces on the walls, bedbugs, shelving units, dirty clothes all over the place, in general, bad things. They have found someone willing to let them rent an apartment from them, but one month's security and one month's rent for the 2 bedroom 1 bathroom is 00.
Tom has recently discovered that he is almost out of money, despite being months away from retirement, because he has been funding everything for Dee and her husband. While I have implored of him and begged him in the past NOT to pay for her because he is running out of money, he insists he is doing it for the sake of her children, and that by paying for her rent, electricity, phonebill, cellphone bill, internet, cable, heat, gas, food, car gas, and car insurance he is ultimately helping her children remain alive, well, and healthy. He told me that it was his money and he could do whatever he wants with it, and if it was my money, he'd keep out of my hair about it.
Then today occured.
Tom: I need you to get 00 from the bank tomorrow.
Me: Why?
Tom: Because I need it.
Me: For?
Tom: Dee.
Me: ... I don't really want to.
Tom: I'm asking this as a favor, please get the money and put it into her bank account.
Me: I really don't want to. It's my money.
Tom: You'll f***ing do it.
Me: What if I say no?
Tom: Are you going to be b**** as always?
Me: I don't want to do it. You asked a favor, and I said no. People can say no to favors, especially when it's about THEIR money!
Tom: Then Dakota has to be gone by the end of the week.
Me: You're going to endanger another being's life because I don't want to give my sister 00.
Tom: I'm not endangering her life. If you don't do it, she'll go to the pound.
Me: Where dogs with anxiety don't get adopted and after three days are put to sleep.
Tom: It's not my fault, it's yours.
Me: Look, are you really that desperate? I don't want to give Dorothy my money.
Tom: Are you that heartless and selfish? You really lack any form of altruism, don't you?
Me: Look, I'm sorry, but it's my money, I'm down to about 00, I don't want to give up 00 for her especially if you're going to throw me out.
Tom: I'm writing you out of my will.
Me: Fine, I don't care.
Tom: I'll give every cent to Dorothy.
Me: Go ahead, I don't care.
Tom: You will care. You'll be angry.
Me: I learne
Me: I learned not to trust any gifts you propose you may give me in the future."
Tom: You'll give her the fucking money and put it in her bank account tomorrow! Don't you care about her kids!?
Me: Yes, I do care about her kids. But she doesn't care about them enough to save up money for them, to provide them with a stable life, that isn't my fault, and I'm not giving money for it.
Then he went towards me with his hand out like he was going to choke me. And he stopped himself.
Tom: I'm going for a walk. When I get back, you better have changed your mind.
Then he went for a walk. He came back.
Tom: So are you going to help?
Me: I'll give you the 2400, but I'm not putting it in her bank account.
Tom: If you do that I'll have to take off another day from work and miss a funeral.
Me: I'll hand you the 2400, but that's it.
Tom: Then all the things I said still stand true. Dakota has to be out of my house by the end of the week and I'm going to unenroll you from college.
What, in your opinion, should I do? I don't feel like I should give the money, personally, because that would be enabling Dee's lifestyle, among other things.
Related posts:
- Dog acting weird since other dog left? We've had our dog since he was a puppy...
- foster kitten questions? I am gonna pick up 2 foster kittens tomorrow....
- Oragnizing a bathroom? My mom is getting released out of the hostpial after...
- Cupboard/pantry moths, any better ideas on how to get rid of them? I had these for about 6 mos before I figured...
- My husband and I fought today after I got back from work? I asked him to vacuum and clean the coffee table...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.








Don’t give either of them any money. There are jobs out there that require no skills, and if they do most if not all places train their employees. What are you going to school for? Maybe you can talk to a school counselor and enter a work study program or find a job on campus. Do you have friends and/or family close by? See if you can stay with them. Are you seeing anyone? If you’ve been together a while, maybe they would help. People near colleges sometimes rent out rooms dirt cheap. I had a friend that did that after he lost his job. It was just a room in a house and he was going to school part time. He did find a job after a few months, but did live off savings for that short period of time. Talk to someone at your school, they should be able to help you with financial aid. You should also call CPS on your sister. Those children need to be saved from her. The fact that she still has custody of them is amazing. You can even report her anonymously. No one would ever have to know that it was you.
And why is your step-dad paying for an apartment for them? Why didn’t he just have them move in with you guys? I can see where that wouldn’t be the ideal situation for you, but why pay rent and/or a mortgage on two separate places? And if you’re living in a house, is it only big enough for two people?
Please don’t give them the money. And please don’t give up. There are services for people in your situation. Call Child Protective Services for the children please. And talk to counselors at your school. They will probably be able to help you find work-study or on-campus employment. You could be eligible for financial aid and/or scholarships. Also, getting a place with roommates can cut way down on cost of living. I hope something in here helps you in some way. You shouldn’t hesitate to call the police if your step-dad comes after you again. Be safe, and good luck.:)
GIVE HIM THE MONEY IS IT REALLY THAT HARD?????
Don’t give the money…. You can tell a social worker about the situation and how they have abused you… and threatening you even worse than ever. The social workers can even take care of the children if the parents can’t take care of them.
When all is said and done, more is said than done.