My 11 year old daughter has been lying for over a year, doing things like:
letting her homework pile up for three months (she's done this three times, but the second time she was caught after a month, and the third time she was caught after two weeks)
sneaking little things like gum and snacks from others' rooms and my purse, and then not fessing up that it was her - even when she's chewing the very food/gum in her mouth at the time of being accused
buying lunch at school on credit instead of making her lunch like she was supposed to (she was "busy" that morning, so she couldn't do it...she only did this once, btw)
Sneaking time on the internet and/or tv when she's not supposed to (I've password protected the computers, but there's nothing I can do about the tv and it's too big to move)
destroying/vandalizing others' property - instead of informing me so I can make the effort to try to talk to those who she feels have insulted her or us as a family (she's scratched designs into a dining room table, taken a patch of paint off someone else's wall, thrown mud on someone's garage, and wrote bad words in chalk in front of another neighbor's house)
repeatedly not wearing her glasses while reading at home - especially while in her room at dusk (she's supposed to wear them all the time, but she doesn't even wear them when she reads)
I've totally had it! I've talked, cried, yelled, lectured, given time outs (11 minutes in her room, away from me) given the silent treatment, and taken away privileges. No change in behavior. Nothing. I'm at a total loss....but I have ordered a few new parenting books, which should be here in a few days.
Anyway, this is the grounding I want to dole out:
Confined for two weeks with no tv, computer, toys, radio or books (why help her weaken her eyesight further since she's not willing to wear her glasses unattended). Oh yeah, and no new Harry Potter movie until it's out on DVD.
No leaving her room unless she needs to go to the bathroom, get drinks of water, take a shower, and do chores (emptying the trash every two or three days, re-shelving clean dishes, doing her laundry). Her three balanced meals and two healthy snacks a day will be eaten in her room.
Is the type of grounding I have in mind child abuse? Of course, I don't want to do it if it is.
Thanks!
Thanks for the responses so far! I'm gaining a lot of insight from the longer ones with feedback!
An addendum to the homework situation:
Regular communication was used between her teacher and I via a homework journal (and even email); her teacher would sign off on her homework the day it was assigned, and I signed off on it the evening I saw that they were completed.
What ended up happening was that my daughter would get the daily homework signed, and then scratch them offer her list (so I couldn't read what she was supposed to do) and then she'd write "done at school" near her teacher's signature before meeting me after school - just yards away from her classroom's door. Nice, eh?
Again, thanks for all the feedback. I'm learning loads. Keep it coming!!!
